You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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