Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize