I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
