is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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