There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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