Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
