sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
