okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
