Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
