i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
