No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
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