Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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