Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
