So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
not ubering you a puppy
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I party with great urgency now.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
