You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
that may or may not have been my penis.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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