Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Randomize
