guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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