and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
