you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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