The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
