i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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