There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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