it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
