just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Operation Purity has been aborted
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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