I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
