Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
