She is in my trunk
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
