You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
