You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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