I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
