Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
