So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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