I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
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