Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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