Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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