super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
