wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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