This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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