i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
