They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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