Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
