Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize