it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
