What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
