he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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