I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
