Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
