do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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