I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
