I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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