Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
