Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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