wat bout pragnant strippers??
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
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