Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
