can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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