im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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