took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
