Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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