Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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