Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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